Good evening my tasty cupcakes~! ^.^



It was time for a new post~. I've been pretty busy last week that's why I didn't have time for blogging.
I also plan a vlog for a while now, & if everything will be fine i'll do it tomorrow.

As I said many things happened last week. E.g. we said goodbye to Caio, our little Brazilian  As a last trip we went to hiking in Szádelő valley. I guess he enjoyed it. :) ...not to mention the dinner.... :D
Now he's at home, safe & sound. Can't wait for the next time to meet him! That guy is absolutely amazing! :D With the other two! :DD

And I celebrated my 18th birthday at Helga's house on Friday-Saturday. :) That is a huge story as well! :D These girls are completely crazy! :)
Btw I always thought having my birthday on weekdays sucks but now I realized it's not bad at all! :)


But the main reason I write today is as I missed the bus I went to visit Vicky & Panni. And I could meet auntie Rose. The first time since we have talked. She asked how the things are going, if I do them as she recommended.... and made me realize how a fool I am.

I'm trying. Harder than ever. And since it's a long process, I can feel it is,I am developing slowly, but surely.
The problem is I'm still not strong enough to represent myself. I was always surrounded with people who were stronger than me. It's not hard to have an influence on me, I'm pretty much of the type I'll do what they tell me. If for no other but for the peace. And I fall into the same mistake again and again.

As I mentioned what happened last night aunt Rose said: "You have to leave her. She isn't the good company for you."

I felt these words strong.... Strong and true. What she said is 100% true. She isn't a good company for me. Maybe her life is fine but mine doesn't.

And if she isn't able to understand my situation then I really have to walk away. And may she will recognize.

I guess it'll hurt. Also it'll be hard to explain, but I have to make this step. In order of my future.

She has a different lifestyle as I have a different one. Maybe she can do many things, have fun without getting horrible results but it's not true to me.

So maybe it sounds mean but I have to concentrate on my future. Not just living in the uncertain present.

As my other friend said: "I'm fine without that. I don't need it. Here, in school it's alright, but I have my other stuffs. Do not take them as granted."

She is right. I see now.

Don't get it wrong, I don't want to leave them, but I have to stand on my own two feet.

I am responsible for myself. Fresh start, new page. I have to get a good pen which will write my story beautifully...

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