It has been a while since I wrote down my confused feelings so here we go!

I don't make this post to complain, I just share my thoughts. And if you have some ideas how can i "correct" things, just write me... at this point, i really don't know what & how to do.

Humanity is a social being. Everyone has their couple, it can be best friend, your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend. You can't just be yourself anyways you would go crazy. You have to share your thoughts with someone.

...But when you loose that someone. Everything just messes up. Especially since you just get distant from each other, like without major arguments or such stuffs, just stop talking. I've been in this situation since school ended & I just can't stop thinking about it. I can't imagine the days passing by in that atmosphere. Long, awkward days... School time will be pretty complicated this year anyways, no need to make it more difficult with hard and complicated friendships.

Also it would be hard. That person had been with me in my toughest years- we gathered so much memories together. That's why i cannot understand if "x" could leave those memories, leave me behind the back. It would be like, it didn't even count to her.

I wish it didn't come out like this.

I don't even know if she hates me or is it just a "smile gap" between us. I don't know which one of my actions/ words hurt "x". I don't know if "x" wants to talk to me/ spend time with me anymore. I don't know how to handle this.


Meanwhile...

As people say: "if God closes a door, he will open a window." The door is closed now, but through the window I was able to get really close with someone. Someone I never believed will be that important for me. And I'm really happy for that. But we're so puzzled. However I'll make sure she can count on me. :)




As well...*

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