Heyy my loveliests! I'm keen on to share something with you...~

As you can get it from the title i'm in a sticky situation right now again. >-< WHY? Ohh God, why? Little me is being puzzled again. And honestly this one bugs me so much more than my previous post.

I feel like I'm hurting someone really badly. And I can only hope he will be fine...

To make it clear, there's a guy at my workplace who wants to date with me. He asked me out, I said yes - AND I FREAKIN' DON'T KNOW WHY! He's one really awesome dude, but I'm not really into him. ... or i don't know... I'm so not sure sheesh! I don't know if my moody self playing with me, but honestly there are times when I'm like, no Flora you can't & in the other minute i'm like- i want this relationship. Which is the worst case in relationships. Since I haven't had any dating experience before I'm not sure at all how things work, but i know, you should only say yes when your feelings are stable.
It's pretty late but i realized I've given signs he thought I like him that way... what's more... errrmarrgheed i wish i could just go back & change my actions. Also i never got his signs. Of course I realize it all now, but i should have done this earlier.

Since I know he's really into me, also people are fragile, no matter how strong they show themselves I hope it won't hit him that painfully in stomach when I tell him i'm stopping. Cause it's a horrible game to play. And God knows why, I went to a date with him yesterday. >.< And it hurts me to see how he tries to get me, but i just can't let myself...

I've done a LOT of thinking. And I assume this will be the best decision to make. I already know which universities I want to apply to & none of them is in the near. Also being in a relationship 'just' to make him happy, while I pretend my feelings is not right. And to get into one of those unis, I need to study. And I've done this so many times, but for now, I really want to focus on studying. I don't have time for a relationship. There's my puppy, there will be school, there're my friends & it all requires so much energy apart from time. I just can't...

Tomorrow he'll work, as well I do. We definitely will talk somehow.

Aigoo... I wish I'd be a better person...

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