For countless reasons. Not being able to fit in, the lack of love, the lack of interest, the lack of food, because you don't give a shit...shall i continue?

To make it clear: I'm talking about running away from home. Most of the teens get this idea at one point. Now I'm convinced I suffer from depression -not that hardcore one,but i do- I cannot help but just have these thoughts on my mind countless times.

All I can think about is when will i finally graduate & move out.

I'm sure why I got here is because the lack of talking I do with my parents. "The average teen/kid talks with his/her parents 7 minutes." Yes, I can prove it. Or even less.

It's not something like I don't want to talk with them or vice versa. To be honest, I have no clue what 's it like from their (parents') side. But I can tell you, the only feeling I have is they don't give a shit about me. Also if we "talk" (better to say they throw some sentences at me) I feel like i'm completely useless, I'm nothing goo in this world.

I try so hard. Yes, i TRY. I'm still trying to think positively, have an optimistic mindset, but somehow it just fell on me from the sudden. I guess I couldn't keep it in myself anymore. It's the last year at the highschool for me, it's really important to my parents, to learn well & get to a good university, also to find a job that will make me a living. These extra pressures were absolutely unnecessary, I already felt like shit inside. They just never knew. They still don't know.

It's easy to say: why don't you just tell them. But it's not like this at all. Considering we haven't really never talked about topics like depression not even frustration makes the whole seem really hard, almost impossible.

So I often get into my little world, in front of the laptop, watching youtubers. They make me fight.

Also there's one more person...

My cousin.

He's the biggest reason of all. I'm just whole heartedly thankful for God that I cannot express. I promised myself, neither I think I could be able to harm myself, however I experienced how does it feel when you are really down at the end of October. And you really need the people/ a person to grab you out of that phase.

Since I'm a cheerful girl anyway -that's why this whole depression thing i'm experiencing is weird to me, like how could it happen?-  it's easy to get me out of the hole. I guess I'm really lucky. He's the one I share every single thing. He's my closest & bestest friend. He will be my closest & bestest friend. I wish my parents would know about his greatness. I feel like that day will come, even if I don't know when.

With his & one of my friend's help from twitter I got through that point. I'm really really thankful for you guise. ♥

But it's still not over. The negative stuffs are storming my mind, HOWEVER I will never give up. I was given this life for a reason.

I'm really lucky I can have these people around me & I dare to ask for help. Many people out there, don't know who/how to ask.

If you are one of those people who cannot share their story with anyone, I'm here, you can count on me! ^^
You can find me on twitter under the username: florasnce95 or facebook: /flora.nyitrai

I love you all! ♥ Keep on fighting because you all worth it. :)

«

»