"What does not kill me, makes me stronger."

I must be really strong now. I'm not saying i'm the worst fated girl on the earth, thanks God,i'm far from that, but i've gone through pretty much tough situations.

And I'm still weak.

I just can't say no to them, i guess because I (as most humans) need happiness in my life. Being with them used to be that. But it kicks back so hard when you just realize you don't mean them as much as they do/did to you.

I just saw my so called "friend" changed her profile picture: she's with our other two "friends"(let's just call them B & C). The picture for sure was taken yesterday, because she often does a small girl party on Fridays. And I didn't even got a single call, whereas she always calls "friend B". What hurts the most she likes to complain about friend B when she has the chance,but I always felt like B would be in front of me. Do not get me wrong,my goal is not to be the first on her list at all. All I wish is to balance us, to appreciate me as much as friend B.

To be frank with you, when I saw the picture it literally felt like something broke in me.

I'm curious how things in the future will turn out, because we're just ahead of our trip to Finland and she (to be honest not asked but rather) ordered me to sit with her, because B is gonna sit with her brother & she doesn't want to sit alone. But knowing her she can (and probably will) change her mind and ask B to sit with her. And that will be the last drop in the glass.

They have failed me so many times and they still expect me to be nice & give my all. But if I'd reproach them the stuffs they have done with me I'd be the bad one. If I would treat them as they treat me they wouldn't talk to me for quite a while now.

I would like to take this opportunity and say thank you. Thank you, because departing from here won't be hard at all. Thank you, because it makes me realize I should be more cautious in the future if I'm looking for true friends. Thank you, for your kindness but if your actions weren't real I don't need them. Thank you, I had enough. But from now on please don't be surprised I won't be the same with you anymore. I will only trust in my real friends from now on.

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