I really wanted to write a happier post, but I just gained an experience I thought I'll be sharing because I feel like if I don't do, it will  bother me even for a longer time and it seriously is a huge stone on my heart.

What happened was, I took Dobu for an afternoon walk as we do it every day. I guess I chose the very wrong street for today's walkie. I prefer to avoid that street, the further I am, the better,'cos it's full of dogs. I don't know what kind of area you live in dear reader, but this is an INSANE place. (If your home is at a street where most of the dogs don't give an ish about whether you are walking your furry friend or not, I unexpressably envy you.) Where I live, no dog stays calm if I go out with my potato. And that happened today. The dogs were crazy and I tried to get Dobu out of that hella big mess when a woman stopped me and she said things that I just stood there, not even able to blink because what she said was the epitome of bullshit.

First off, she left the gate open -side note: she has a pekingese & a taller dog, unleashed, so those dogs could've freely bit me - then she was like: would you take your dog to the football field next time? 'Cos it's not the first time you are doing this, and it really bothers my dogs. The bigger one is stepping on the smaller and anyway what if I let them out?

My dear visitor, you read it right. She can let them out. On the street. WHAT THE EFFISH? Is the street hers or what? I was walking my dog, totally properly, which means he had a leash and a harness on. He was not free, nor went close to her dogs. As far as I know, every person has the right to take their dog for a walk anywhere they want if they are well 'equipped'. I was not on her territory, and I really am sorry for her dogs not being able to bear each other if they see another one.

I quickly said sorry and got out of there as fast as I could. And there I was. Crying. This day has been an emotional roller coaster anyway for me so all the pressure & stress that was in me just came out. I was sobbing so terribly, if anyone saw me probably thought I'm not normal, but I just couldn't keep it in.

I felt so bad. I felt if I was the worst person in the world. I blamed myself so hard, than probably never ever in my life. I felt I was a horrible person because I let my dog go on that street, like it would have been a legit sin. I felt like the whole world (at least the street for sure) hated me.

I love my parents. Especially when they don't understand me. And that happens a LOT of times. As I arrived home they asked what happened. I tried to tell them the most understandable way I could but what I got back made me feel even worse (whereas I already felt like I'm at the bottom of hell). They basically told me that what she said was really stupid and I have every right to take my dog for a walk there. However then mom asked why did I take Dobu there and honestly I was extremely confused. A couple days ago we were walking our doggie on the neighborhood street and the madness is similar. Mom then said if the people are mad because the dogs bark then they are not normal. So in the spirit of this sentence I let my dog go where the heck he wanted.

Can you follow me? I'm kind of lost too. Then dad was like, yeah you should tell him where you want to go, but when they take Dobu they're always like 'I went where he wanted.'

So this made such a huge madness in me, that I just wanted to get out of this world. Maybe I was overreacting but this can kill me. Once people say this, than that. In the end whatever I do is wrong.

I feel bad for being wrong. I don't know what to do...

Maybe I should just listen to myself in the future.

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