Hey! Hello! Long time no see.

This time for real. In this last half year I have learned A LOT. I guess even more than what I was expecting. Many things have changed, in an extremely positive way. Finally now I really feel like I am getting there.

Gosh, I don't even know where to start. 

First and foremost the hard times are far behind me. I am happier than ever :) Of course there is no life without obstacles and I'm not saying the past 7 months were a walk in the park or I won't have to face hardships in the future, but I finally learned to leave the past where it belongs - in the past. 

Actually it wasn't until recently I recognized the source of my problems. I was holding onto things that have passed a long time ago, like I kept building "barricades" for no reason. I would tell myself I can't to things because I'm not as good as the other people, whereas it's total bullshit. I always knew I had problems with seeing my true self-worth, I just got used to underestimating myself. However the only thing that kept me back from doing things was that I did not take myself seriously. If I already doubt myself how do I tell other people to believe me? My point is: do not hold on. Whatever it was, it has passed. You do not need it in your life anymore. No one is forcing you to cling on those things but you. Do yourself a favor: Let yourself be free! It's a wonderful feeling. :)

I also decided I needed a "background" change. So I quit my job. When I started to work in Starbucks a year ago, oh God, how I LOVED it! But by May I felt everything but good in that place. I was sleep deprived, over-stressed and depressed. I already had a feeling it was going in the wrong direction in April (and I'm still a bit mad at myself I did not apply to the marketing section when the co-op was advertising it). Quitting a stable job is pretty scary, that's why I can cut some slack for myself. Not gonna lie, I was scared too. Constantly thinking "what if I can't find another place?"; "how long will I have to live on bread and water?"(which never happened lol at my overly dramatic self). Then I had to take the step: I can stay but feel crappy or I can move on. So I did. I stepped out in the unknown. The funny thing is as soon as I stepped out of the store I genuinely felt so relieved. As if a huge boulder would had rolled of my heart. I'm really thankful for that one year though. Being a part of a team really made me grow. However I reached my limits there. Now I need to grow further at a different place.

And where is that different place? Hopefully at a company I got hired to barely 2 weeks after I quit. I say hopefully because I haven't started yet. The assistant program will only begin in September so I still have some time to finally dive into this field as well. But I'm not sitting on my bum now either, currently I'm an interpreter. It's not my dream job, but perfectly fine for the time being. Also now I can tell I have experience in this field as well. :)

The place where I put my head to sleep has changed too. Finally I moved to Budapest!!! And I'm loving every minute of it. It's so much more convenient! I fall more and more in love with the place with every day. And I don't want to run away so much anymore. Although it really bugs me that I honestly live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and it has so much potential, but it's being screwed up by the government. (But it's a different story...) 

Also, it's not just the city I'm falling in love with. Yes, that's right, I feel like I have found the One, my One and only. But dear Lord, I am so blind please give me stronger glasses, it seems like the one that I have now is not enough! lol. All this time I though life was holding out a carrot with me, whereas the real gem was in front of my eyes all along. You know when you tell yourself you want something but it's not really what is meant for you, but you just keep telling yourself it is because...??? idek why, probably 'cause you've grown into that thought that it should be like that for so long you just can't see the real deal? Nah that's what happened to me. Even though I had friends who already felt it coming, tried to open up my eyes, but dear, I'm such a noob at this field, that I just did not realize the signs no matter how hard they tried. But man, I am so lucky to have him by my side! He knows how to lead me so well...I am just in awe. He makes things like a million (if not a gazillion) times easier. He is just perfect. I know it's turning into a reeaally cheesy post but really, he is. With his annoying, tiring self, he is perfect. :) I just love him soso much. 

And these are just the main "events" of the past half year. I am so happy I have reached this state of my life, this young (That's another thing. I felt like I had to hurry up because I will miss a bunch of stuff, but oh no! 21 is friggin young, no need to hurry anywhere!). 

I always knew I was a very lucky girl, but this time I feel even luckier (if that makes sense..? haha). I feel like all the experiences of the past months brought me a lot closer to the person I want to be. There is still a lot to learn, but I'm much closer to my goal. And to think that I reached the "turning point" in a relatively short intervallum is mindblowing. 

Dreams can be turned into reality. You have the potential to build up the life you imagined. So do not be scared. Whatever happens, life will work out. :) 

Much love, my beautiful sunshines ♥

xoxo